Student Ministry June 2018
Dear Church Family,
One thing that I have found to be true of most students is that they greatly desire to be included and accepted by other people. Maybe not all people, but at least some of them. They often have specific people or groups in mind with whom they want to be associated. I have also found that this is true of adults. Turns out, it is true of most human beings in general. The older we get, the better we become at hiding this desire and coping when it is not met. Sometimes we like to think we are more mature when we are able to disguise our pain when we feel rejected by others. Sometimes we feel like we are the victims, and we have no problem letting “them” know how wrongly they are treating us. It is ironic that we can find ourselves acting out towards people with whom we think we want to be close. From the early stages of life through our last days, humans desire to have healthy relationships with one another. Sometimes it just doesn’t work out that way.
There are many different factors that play a role in why some relationships just don’t work out. Interests, personality, age, maturity level, sin, are just a few of the many aspects that affect relationship dynamics. Sometimes people are not friends, not because of any malicious intent, but simply because they have different likes and dislikes, differing personalities, or a lack of interactive time between them. Other times people don’t get a long for reasons less amicable. Sometimes people sinfully push people out of their lives because of selfishness and a lack of Christlike, other-centeredness. Sometimes (actually I think this the most common occurrence) we are more interested in people being friends to us instead of us striving to be good friends to them first. Then when they do not treat us the way we want them to, we feel rejected. Some of these things have obvious solutions, but regardless of the particulars of this reality we all face, I want to ask how we should respond when we feel rejected.
While the factors that lead up to you feeling rejected have real significance, the most important thing we need to consider is how we are to respond when we feel this way. Maybe we need to accept the fact that we can’t be close to everyone. Maybe we need to go to someone and show them where they have sinned against us and forgive them. Maybe we need seek to be better friends to others in our lives. All of those things are probably true to some degree or another. But there is something that is even more fundamentally important for Christians when we feel rejected. Psalm 119: 23-24 says: “Even though princes sit and talk against me, your servant meditates on your statutes. Your testimonies also are my delight; they are my counselors.” The Word of God fully revealed to us in Christ is our comfort and joy. When we feel rejected by men (whether it is true or not) we need to remember that, when we deserved God’s rejection, He sent His son to fulfill the Law for us and pay for our sins so we could be accepted by Him… not rejected! The Psalmist is showing us here that, for him, the only thing that truly matters is what God thinks. It doesn’t matter what the princes of the earth think about him. He wants to consider what God thinks. It is good and right to desire healthy friendships and try to fix whatever may be hindering them. But ultimately, we must be like the Psalmist and seek the Lord’s counsel and love above the acceptance of any human being. We can handle any level of rejection when we have this attitude in our hearts.
Sincerely,
Brian Van Doren
